"Would You Still Save Me ?"

Never once I've experienced a humiliation like this, it feels like I've been stabbed a million times by the mourners. I can't stay here knowing that my parents are dead, their stares were forming holes behind my head. Why are they squinting at me ? Aren't I supposed to be the pitiful one ? Why won't they pity me ? Why did they stare at me as if I'm a pest ?

“Look at the girl who killed them.”
“She's too clueless, or should I say...”
“She saved only herself in that tragic hit and run accident.”
“What kind of daughter is that ?”
“She knows nothing about the inheritance right ?”
“I'm sure she doesn't. And even If she did, would she had the brain to use it ?”
“Of course not, she doesn't even have the brain to save her own parents.”
“Insolent.”

As I turned my head back, they all silenced. Leaving me to stomp my feet towards the exit door of this tremendous cathedral. Do they expect me to know something ? Well, I don't !
I'm clueless, true, but I'm nothing close to being derisive. I walked, grabbed my crutches to help me see what's in front of me. True, I'm blind. I'm nowhere near perfect, and having no more person in my life is one of my greatest fear in life. I recalled the way from the cathedral to my house, then I reached forward to expect a brick wall as a gate to my house. I pressed some numbers and the sounds of the earth grumbling as my steel gate pulled itself backwards, making way for me to walk in. Except, I didn't enter the residence just like that.
I headed to my left, and stopped when my hips bumped to the stone edges, separating my house to the river below the hill I live on, located like twenty-five meters under where I stand now. I have always ready to die anytime. I can't see anything I longed to see, and nor that I have the desire to live on. The only reason that I kept on living was my parents, how I would hate myself if they find my dead body on my bed and cried their eyes out. And now when I think about it, would they be happy when I die now ? They'll be able to see me, and, I, finally will be able to see them. I never did, since I was born. I only know their voices, but I didn't know their faces. I always wanted to do what I read in books, when the kids were playing they'll run around, jumping to their parents embrace, and looking deep into their eyes lovingly. To see how smiles were shaped, it must have really looked beautiful.

Who am I kidding, who am I to say which is beautiful and which is not ?

I scoffed at my thoughts.
I wonder what dress I am wearing now, I wonder how does my face looked like. I wonder....
Without any moment of hesitation, I climbed onto the strong wall made of probably the strongest substances in the world, it felt so firm below my feet.
I guess this is it, Im YoonA... Bid your farewell...
With that thing as the last thought flying on my mind, I leaned my body forward. And just a moment, I heard footsteps scampering towards my direction, was it running ? What is it ? Is it a human ?
Is it trying to save me ?
Just before my head comprehends what was running through my brain, my body had already felt like floating as I sensed that my feet were no longer settled on the strong substances below me. Now my upper arms brushed to it, my feet felt encountering the soft material. And I felt a totally well-built arms supporting me from behind my back.

“If you want to die, then die. You don't have to form such a big uproar like this.” A person said rudely.
“What do you mean ?” I answered as I stared only blank ahead like I always do.
“Don't you see ? More than 100 people is now watching your great commotion.”
Is it true ? Then why is it so quiet ? They don't even willing to save me, the gullible girl who was going to kill herself in their faces ?
“Screw you guys ! You don't even want to help this poor girl, so why are you even here !? Go away !” It shooed, I don't know whether it's a man or woman, the one who saved me. Either it was a woman with the lowest voice ever, or a man with a beautiful tenor voice.
“Who are you ? How can you access this place very easily ? You know that it's rude to trespass people's homes, right ?” I greeted the person.
“Hey, I'm standing right here. You're so arrogant, at least look at people's faces when you're talking to them.” It said.
“I'm blind, I can't see.” I answered shortly. Then an uncomfortable pause went on our conversation, “Oh... I-I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to insult you, or something. I'm really sorry, ah, I can't explain how much I'm sorry. But you just have to know that I'm saying the truth, I'm sincerely saying sorry.” He said, although I do not know how his face looked like. Let alone knowing how much miserable his current expression is, but I kinda sensed from the tone of his voice that he's truly sincere of what he had just say.
“Lady YoonA ! What have you been doing !?” KyuHyun oppa rushed from approximately 10m ahead of me, his steps felt like it was colliding the ground before me.
“KyuHyun-oppa.” I whispered, I don't know how can I whisper with the hope that he might hear me, because I'm quite sure that the guy that is just beside me won't even hear what I was saying due to the slowness of my voice.
“Lady YoonA ! Who is this guy ?” He asked me, I can feel him squinch from the tone of his voice.
“He... Saved me.” That was all that I can say, because I don't know whether he was a stranger or not. Because I can't see his face, nor that I recalled his voice either.
“That's, um, right.” He finally said.
“I guess I owe you an apology for bringing you into this mess.” I said to him without even knowing where he was located, but judging from the breath that kept huffing from my right side, I supposed that he is just beside my right arm. With that noticed, I bowed down toward him giving him the right of my attention, which I haven't given him since the first time we hear each other's voices.
“No, no, it's okay. It's my pleasure. And... Miss, am I forgiven ?” He carefully mentioned the last sentence.
“Y-yes, you are.” I pronounced, and headed back toward behind my house gate, leaving him in a dazed state. With KyuHyun behind me, following my every steps ever so slowly.
“What were you doing, Lady YoonA ? Why did he say that he was helping you ? Did you happen to endanger your life for something ?” He asked with concern.
“Why are you so concerned about me ? Why would you be ?” I answered coldly, like I always do to him since ever.
“I will always care about you, Lady YoonA. I'm no longer doing only my job, but I truly do care about you.” Cho KyuHyun said softly. I wonder why.
“Thank you, oppa...” I said, answering him quietly while going upstairs, toward my bedroom, in which I have clearly memorized the way and every step of the stairs even.


I buried my head down under the pillow, adjusting my position so that I can still breathe. Nobody cares for me, huh ? That guy said that when I attempted suicide, there were more than 100 people watching me from afar. He's a kind guy, I guess. Or maybe, he just doesn't know who I truly am. Should I call him in ? Make KyuHyun oppa search for him again ? I do not want any misunderstandings to occur here. I just want to know what will he think of me once he gets to know the real me. The real reason why my parents died, why I am the one who inherited the whole circle of these companies my father developed.
I lifted my head and rolled around to my left, I touched the thin air, trying hard to finally reach the telephone. “KyuHyun oppa... Can you search that person who helped me just now ?” I asked him.
“What ? I'm not--.”
“Look for him, he might not be far away. And when you do, send him to my room.” With that, I hung up the phone and laid my head back on my pillow. I then closed my eyes, imagined how my life would be if I can see. Everything would have been better.




“Lady YoonA ?” I heard KyuHyun oppa's voice echoing around the massive mansion with no one living in it, except me and KyuHyun oppa, of course.
“Come in...”
“I've found the person you were looking for.” He said.
“Send him in...”
“But, I don't think that he's a good person. I found him shoplifting kimchi on the way here... And I don't--.”

“Send him in.” I repeated.

He paused for a second, “Yes, Lady...”

With that said, steps were heard, they were going out of my room. Before I heard the other steps coming in, I heard some voices I recalled as KyuHyun oppa's voice and that man's voice. They were talking. However, indistinct enough that I can't even hear it. Finally, I heard the guy's step approaching, I fixed my posture, maintained an expressionless face, with no concern towards everything. I curled my toes under the warm blanket as I heard the door's creaking sound.

“Sit down.” I commanded, knowing that a chair was placed aside my bed.
“There weren't any chair.” He answered. Which I then remembered where oppa has put the chair in my cupboard so it won't halt me when I walk towards the bed. “Umm... The blue cupboard. You'll find one there.” I replied, still hasn't lost my posture. I knew that he found the chair as I hear him grunting from the pain, I knew that he's carrying the big chair around. And when he put it down, I also knew that he had settled down beside me.
Awkward silence replaced the grunts that he was letting out just now. We didn't speak any words until he said, “It's nice to see you again.”
“You don't know who I am. That's why you saved me, right ?” I started, did I ?
“What are you saying ?”
“Who are you ? With that hair smell, you won't be able to attend my parents' funeral.” I said again.
“You're insulting me because I'm poor.”
“I don't know that you were poor.”
“You know now.”

Again, the awkward atmosphere fall upon us. “Did you feel insulted ?”
“Of course. What do you expect ?”
“I can do a lot better than that, I can insult you, trap you with your own answers, and put you over the edge, making you regret that you're ever born into this world.”
“I realized.” He answered, even more calm than her. I'm quite impressed that he cannot be pressured with her words only.
“If you knew that, would you come save me that time ?” I said, still looking ahead blankly. I wanted to turn my head, but I didn't even know where he is, so I decided to look forward in order not to look stupid in front of this stranger.
He paused, and let out a sigh, “I would. Of course, I would.”
“Why ?”

“Because it's the right thing to do.”
“If I'm a world-class criminal and every nation wants me to die, would you still save me ?” I whispered, but made sure that he could still hear clearly what was I talking about behind all the brimming tears wetting the lids of my eyes.
“I would. You can die, anytime, anywhere, just don't do it in front of me.”
“Why ? Why won't you let me die ?!” I said, louder than the whispers earlier.
“I said, because it's not the right thing to do ! Why won't you understand !?” He said, getting irritated.
“I don't get you. When a person hates someone, they'd want them die, if necessary, in front of them, or in their own hands.” I said, curious, obviously.
“My sister taught me this.”
“Your... Sister ?”
“Yes. She told me that life is a precious thing, to live is a rarest thing that a person can do. So, we'll have to try to cherish it.” He said while his voice turned sorowful all of a sudden.
“What is it ?”
“Huh ?”
“Where is your sister ? Why did you turn sorrowful so suddenly ?” I asked.

“She died when I was 8, along with my parents.” He explained sadly as I can recognize from the tone.
“People thought that I killed my parents and my older sister.” I continued.
“And ? Is it true ?”

“What do you think ? If it is true, would you still save me ? I see that you have a deep feeling of respect and love towards your family, if someone like me is going to attempt suicide, what would you do ? Would you still save me ? Or... Would you just push me off the edge ?” Asked me, I saw that my tears finally broke loose from it cage. I can't bear it anymore.
He silenced, I can only hear his heavy breath, inhaling and exhaling in and out. It was soundless, but it wasn't awkward.
“I killed my sister when I was just 5, we were playing on the airplanes, and we were trying to test the parachute, and when I opened mine, it works, but when she did. I wasn't sure what happened to her, but I was sure that I heard screams and a loud thumping to the ground. I guess she died then. And my parents, we were on a holiday, and we got into a car crash. Before the car blew up, they pushed me aside, making me got out of the car first. And a few days later, I met you. Trying to save me from my suicide attempt.” I didn't know if it was just me who cannot feel the awkwardness, because I'm crying ?

“Do you think that it's my fault ? If you do, do you regret on saving me earlier ?”
Just then, I felt a warm thing, like a finger, rubbing through the traces of tears I left marked on the surfaces of my cheeks. His thumb, brushed as it was just natural that he does that to me, as if we knew each other since forever, his touch felt very familiar. I don't know how and why.
Then afterwards, I felt him raising his body from the chair that he got out, and rested himself on my bed. Just on my blanket, he put both of his hands in both sides of my face. Each of his thumbs brushing my eyes, wiped my tears out, that I can't feel it anymore. I wouldn't know that I cried or not, due to how dry it felt. His hot breath blew against my face, and just after that, he placed his hand atop of my head.

“You're a fragile girl, you know loneliness better than anyone. You haven't felt what they call 'love', as the word still sounds strange to your ears. So, you're in no place to tell me how you knew how big my love is for my family. You don't know anything, you're weak and vulnerable behind that oh-so-strong mask you put on yourself. But there's one thing I realized from the very first time I saw you. Your eyes, they were very pitiful, they're calling myself out to save you. So I did. I wasn't doing the right thing at that time. I did what your eyes told me to. And there's just no way that I can ignore it. There's sadness smeared all over your beautiful, unusable eyes, and I can sense that it's similar with mine. We both have lost those people who are dear to us, it's time for you to let them go, stop blaming yourself, and live a new spirit within you. I can understand, out of all the people in the world, I'm sure that I can understand you the most.”
With that, I cried myself even more, only to have him rubbing his thumbs all over my face and hugged my head deep upon his broad chest. It feels undeniably comfortable, and warm. I even sobbed, it feels like somehow he's able to comfort my long locked heart. And slowly, guiding me, carefully telling me to open up my heart to the world, to see the miraculous things that love and life had given to the earth, making it beautiful. And he did, he showed me...
Himself.... When I was at my weakest.
I don't even know who his name is, yet, he understands me more than everyone that knows me since birth does. And the world sure look even more beautiful even though I cannot literally see it. I can feel it, he can be my eyes when I can't see. He can tell me the beauty of it. This moment is one moment when I feel totally perfect. When I feel like, someone's watching over me.
“What's your name, girl ?” He asked as he released me from his embrace.
“I-Im YoonA. How about you ?”
“DongHae. Mine's Lee DongHae.” He answered, took my hand into his, holding it tightly.

Only with him, is the only moment when I feel entirely complete...

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GAT-EUN??/SUKER?? LIKE JER... OR DAESGEUL/KOMEN LER...

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